10 Conversations On Racism I’m Sick Of Having With White People
Note from a site editor: As of today (12/18/11), comments are closed on this piece. It’s simply gotten too tiresome to moderate subtly as well as overtly racist, anti-Black “go back to Africa/Black people are prejudiced/we’re all one race/your tone isn’t nice so I won’t hear your point/only Black people complain [so there's no racism], etc.” comments. This site has many good articles you are welcome to comment on. This one is just trollbait and we have a lot of other site work to do. Sorry.
The following are 10 conversations that I would be happy never to have with white peepul ever, ever, ever again. While there are countless others, these are at least 10 that I’m forced to endure far too often.
This has been touched on before, but as sure as the sun will rise, whenever POCs are sharing their views or experiences on being on the receiving end bigotry and denigration, too often the default white response is something shallow and patronizing along the lines of, “Racism is just bad. Racism is so stupid.”
Really? Thank you Mr.-States-The-Obvious. Do you have any idea how condescending that sounds? Talk about adding insult to injury. That would be like someone going up to a mugging victim and telling them, “Stealing is just so wrong. Stealing is so bad. People shouldn’t rob other people at gunpoint. That’s just….naughty.”
I don’t need a pat on the head and be told what I already know. What I do need is for white folks to lecture OTHER white folks on how racism is stupid and bad, wrong and oh so naughty. What I need is for white folks to do is tell their racist cousin why it’s fucked up for them to hold a racial grudge against all Asians because their grandfather fought in Vietnam.
What I need other white folks to do is remind other white people that Arabs and Muslims were ALSO victims of 9/11.
How about doing that.
2) You Should Stay And Fight For Change
As a POC and an LGBTQ, I’m treated as 3/5 of a human being in this country, on a good day. Living in the Southeast, well….a lot of people are especially bitter about that Civil Rights business.
Too often when I express a desire to relocate above the Mason Dixon line to an area where bigotry is at least tolerable (for me, the next POC’s mileage may vary for valid reasons), or move to another country where I can actually marry who I want or not get treated like a pariah for having brown skin, I can count on some speshul white person lecturing me on why I’m under obligation to stay in an area I would sooner see nuked from existence than reside in.
“But Neo, there were black people who stayed and fought for change after slavery ended!”
Yes they did. And God bless them for it. And I’m not taking anyway from their contributions and sacrifices. Obviously their mileage varies. But POCs are not the Borg. There were also plenty of POCs who headed up north and out west for better opportunities. That isn’t to say there wasn’t bigotry and fail up north and out west but as far as lesser of the two evils go, it was the preferable choice. Because people conveniently forget that for those who stayed behind, they also had to contend with Reconstruction, Jim Crowe, the Klan, Tuskegee, the pushback for Civil Rights, Jena 6, church burnings during the 90s and 2000s, do I even need to continue?
I don’t need to be told where I’m under obligation to stay and fight. I’m intelligent enough to decide that for myself.
If speshul liberal white folks feel that strongly that I should stay and fight for change, why don’t they do the heavy lifting and actually do it so I won’t feel the need to flee like Lot. Why don’t they make dismantling institutional oppression, a top priority or for that matter, a priority.
Because to be lectured about why I should stay and fight for change in a place by privileged peoples who aren’t facing the same bigotry or denigration, comes across as immensely disingenuous and very suspect.
3) I Don’t SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Race!!!!!
Oh yes, this one is a classic. The discussion of racism comes about, those of the Caucasian persuasion have to profess how colorblind they are and how race doesn’t matter to them at all.
Now to be fair, I can see how this trips up otherwise well-meaning and good-hearted white folks. They recognize that racism is wrong (and this puts them ahead of many) and genuinely believe that they are treating people equally and not allowing race to be a factor in their dealings with others. And God bless them for that. They’re at least on the right track.
However, we’re don’t live in a colorblind, post-racial society. I wish to God we did. The institutional oppression that is racism is immensely prevalent and ignoring the problems and the issues will not make them go away.
A lot of people believe that if you ignore racism or don’t talk about it, it’ll vanish. But when Racefail pops off again, we’re all scratching our heads wondering why we’re still dealing with this nonsense.
So yes, continue to judge people on the content of their character and not their ethnicity but also be cognizant of the realities that too many of us face and those realities is that we live in a very racist and hateful society and do your part to change it.
4) Being Expected To Take It
Stop me if this sounds familiar.
“Ho hum Neo, that’s just the way So&So is. And they’re not going to change, so you’re just going to have to accept how they treat you, even if it is demeaning. And you know, do it with a smile.”
“Well Neo, that’s just the way things are, yes we live in the land of freedom and democracy and equality but you’re going to be discriminated against. You just have to accept it. And you know, do it with a smile.”
Ummm…….fuck you? *smiles*
Anyone who thinks I’m obligated to simply take racism or being denigrated clearly doesn’t respect me as a human being and clearly not someone who is worth my time. And anyone who even suggests that I should put up with that crap, isn’t someone worth my time either. If you don’t tolerate being treated like a subhuman by others, you don’t get to qualify that for me and others.
Rather than demanding POCs to simply take it or “rise above”, why don’t white folks start shutting down bigots and demand them to stop acting like entitled demented sociopaths. Because if you harbor hatred towards someone because of their ethnicity, you’re a fucking sociopath. How about that for a change? And the fact that I’m having to take the time to explain why as a human being I shouldn’t have to put up with being insulted and demeaned and should be treated on equal footing as white people…..um….again….fuck you?
*smiles*
5) Conflating Racism For Classism
One of the most common tactics racist white folks will use to avoid getting checked on their privilege is conflating racism for classism as witnessed in this episode of bitchassness here. If they had it their way, they would have you believe that blacks were enslaved and endured Jim Crowe solely because they were poor and if they had enough money then they wouldn’t have to worry about bigotry or oppression.
Yes, these two often intersect, yes they often overlap. But racism and classism are two distinct issues. If it was simply about wealth and class, then Henry Louis Gates, a world renowned Harvard professor wouldn’t have been racially profiled and arrested by the police for entering his own home nor would there have been a coverup over the police report.
Barack Obama, another Ivy League educated black man and oh yeah president of the United States (and arguably the most powerful man in the world) has been on the receiving end of nonstop racist attacks. Now, if he’s enduring this level of racism (people still don’t believe he’s an American) from society, what chance does the rest of us have? Those of us who don’t have his resources, who don’t have the media watching our every move?
Yes, poor white immigrants and poor white people have suffered and do suffer and it is a legitimate issue that deserves to be addressed. No one’s disputing that. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. realized this and often reached out to poor white people. Because classism is an injustice, I don’t care what race you are. But it is not the same as racism. They have completely different dynamics at play. Both are legitimate but you can’t use the former to erase/dismiss/negate the latter.
So this whole mindset of I’m poor ergo I know alllllll about racism or have it just as bad or even worse than POCs is dead on arrival.
6) Erasing Racism From Racial Issues
Oh this is another failing that can especially be found among liberal anti-oppressionist white peepul. It’s no secret that when it comes bigotry, racism typically takes a backseat to these discussions. Bring up racism and racial issues and you can count on being shouted down with everyone tacking on ever other oppression, they’re personally invested in just to get out of dealing with their white privilege/white guilt.
Which by the by in regards to the concept of privilege, for those of you who have issue with the concept, READ THIS HERE.
In fact recently when I called out the racism that a WOC endured, I had some condescending white chick demand that I take white privilege out of the discussion.
Yes there is a thing as intersectionality. As a double minority, I’m acquainted with that concept quite well and this isn’t to say that other oppressions aren’t legitimate or don’t deserve attention, because they most certainly do.
But sometimes, it is about race. And sometimes, scratch that, often, white folks need to be reminded of that fact. Especially the self-proclaimed liberal white allies with a Miss Millie complex who suddenly think simply because they’ve read an essay or a blog entry written by a POC that the rules don’t apply to them.
7) Prove It To Me
A common ploy by conservative white people. Whenever racism is brought up and POCs share their perspective and their experiences, they demand proof. They like to set themselves up as Judge and God and we have the burden of proof.
“Prove to me that racism is real. Convince me. And if I don’t believe it, then it didn’t happen and it’s all in your head.”
And it doesn’t matter how many facts, figures, statistics, essays, dissertations, you could have Jesus Christ himself come down from heaven to testify and they still wouldn’t believe you.
So of course when you deem yourself their equal and not play their game of white supremacy circle jerk, suddenly they’re having a conniption. Because how dare you not grant them an audience or waste your time on them. How dare you think your opinion and experiences or more valid than whatever bass ackwards idea they’ve pulled from their rectum.
I’ve heard this argument too many times (especially from self-proclaimed liberal white peepul), that I don’t engage people who disagree with me because my brain can’t fathom the idea that someone may have a different or *gasps* opposing view. Because in the near three decades I’ve lived on this planet, I’ve never encountered anyone who disagrees with me. Yes being a black gay man in the South, I’ve never come across any opposition regarding my orientation or my race and have had to defend myself. Also apparently it’s written somewhere that I’m under obligation to engage, entertain, and be talked down to by any pissant who trolls my blog.
Or the common, “You just have a problem with my political beliefs.”
Asshole, I’m not a political view, I’m a goddamn human being. And fuck you for getting mad and taking exception to the fact that I have problem with someone believing I should be discriminated against. And if you have a problem with my contention with said issue, then it’s YOU who can’t agree with someone who disagrees with YOU!
I know the score, these folks aren’t on here to exchange ideas or to have a good faith discussion. They get off on seeing minorities angry and upset. That’s why they spew the bile they do online. So when you know the score and ignore them, that’s why they get pissed off because that lowly colored person just took their mighty whitey power away from them.
Because how dare I make the determination that some (white) folks aren’t worthy of my time and how dare I ignore them and go on with my life without allowing them stress me. How dare I not grant them an audience or waste my time on them. But this goes back to our bodies, minds, and our times not belonging to us any longer.
Being all uppity.
An outrage! An outrage I tell you!!!!!!
8) I’m Really Not The Angry Militant POC You Think I Am
I’m usually scratching my head on this one but apparently calling out white folks on their racism and we’re talking in the most polite tone possible = me being a rabid seething angry black man.
It both amuses and befuddles me how often I see some broad drowning in white woman tears attempting to pull a Rosewood bawwwwwing about how angreeee I am.
“HE WAS SOOOOOO MEAN TO ME. I’VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO FUELED WITH ANGER. HE WAS LIKE AN UBER RED LANTERN. HIS ANGER WAS BLISTERING MY PORCELAIN SKIN. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THE MEAN NEGRO SAVAGE WAS BEING SO MEAN AND NEGRO AND SAVAGE. OH GODDESS, HELP ME. I’M SOOOOOO OH-PARESSSED.”
I’ll grant you that a lot of you mistake nice for soft but seriously white folks, I’m not the Militant POC that keeps you awake at night. The fact that you think I’m one just proves that you haven’t met a real Militant. While it’s true that I can certainly hold my own against the best of them, especially if my hand is forced and my back is to the wall, let’s be real here for a second, I’m a clean cut hipster black comic book nerd who regularly uses four syllable SAT vocab terms and stuff.
I make Will Smith and one Burton Guster look raw and gangsta. Of course most of you think Obama is too angry and militant and too dangerous, so I guess I’m in good company.
*shrugs shoulders*
You better hope that I’m the most militant POC, you ever have to deal with because I’ve got brothers and sisters who will really give you something to cry about.
9) Self-Esteem Negates All Racism
Despite claims to the contrary in the previous point, this one WILL send me on a violent rampage.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been white-cited that I just shouldn’t care what others think and I should feel good about me regardless. Because feeling good about myself is all that matters.
It’s not unlike the other lecture I get too often. I should just stop fretting over racism and just live my life. Because clearly I can take a day off from bigotry and racism whenever I feel like it. Basically setting up the fallacious argument that racism is the resultant of low self-esteem or having a chip on your shoulder.
Variations of this bile can also be found in the form of “Racism is dead, and if POCs aren’t prospering, it’s because they can’t get their acts together.”
This is one of the problems I had with this Sesame Street video. I agree with Keeni84 in that yes it’s doing a lot of good for many young black girls and for that I’m eternally grateful. However, since the video has gone viral, the media has conflated the issue about this being a case that black women are ashamed of their hair simply because they have low self-esteem about who they are.
Riiiiiiiiiiiight, black girls are ashamed of their hair simply and their skin and their bodies only because they have low self-esteem. Because it’s certainly not as if we live in a Eurocentric culture that props up all things of the caucasian persuasion as the end-all-be-all standard of excellence. It’s not like we live in a society where black women lose their jobs on television (Look up Judge Ephraim from Divorce Court) or from corporate positions for wearing their hair too “ethnic.” So it’s not as if black women can simply wear their hair natural in this society and not catch hell for it. Let’s not forget it, it wasn’t that long ago when Don Imus called a group of young black women a bunch of nappy-headed hoes and was actually defended.
Furthermore it’s a catch-22. If you wear your hair straight, then you’re aspiring to be white. If you wear your hair natural, you’re being militant or granola or anything else than you choosing to express who you are in the manner you see fit for you.
Good self-esteem is not going to stop a bank from denying me a business loan because the bank rep has a grudge against black people. Good self-esteem isn’t going to Arabs and Muslims from being unjustly attacked by hateful racist mobs. Good self-esteem isn’t going to protect blacks and Latinos from being racially profiled and brutally assaulted by crooked cops.
Being a POC with great self-esteem does not negate racism. In fact, quite the opposite, it incites it.
Try being a POC who has enough self-esteem to work hard in school and earn straight A’s and see how much hell you catch for it. Try being a POC who is articulate, well-dressed and mannerable and see how often you get accused of aspiring to be white. Try being a POC who has enough self esteem in yourself to politely call out folks for committing racist acts and see how much rebuke you catch. Try being a POC who has enough self-esteem to demand to be treated with the same dignity and respect as your white peers or refuses to adhere to racist stereotypes and see how many times you get accused of being “uppity.”
POCs aren’t supposed to feel good about ourselves. We’re supposed to be self-hating, killing and murdering each other off, playing the role as the source of mainstream society’s fears/fetish/and ethnic entertainment. We’re supposed to be subhuman savages.
This all to say that when it comes to racism, having wonderful self-esteem will catch you unholy hell if you’re a POC.
10) Racism Is Not Happening In A Vacuum
To those of you who genuinely don’t understand why racism still exists or why people have such attitudes, or didn’t realize that racism was still a problem, the only thing I can simply ask is where the fuck have you been for the last 400 years.
Do you think it’s random happenstance that it took until the 21st century before we even entertained the notion of having a black president? Ask yourself how many POC dramas are on television? Hell ask yourself how many television series are on television where the POC is the lead protagonist and it’s NOT a sitcom and/or minstrel show? If we’re in such a post-racial society, explain to me how many commercials have you seen on television that features interracial couples? Probably for the same reason there was such a public outcry over NFL star Terrell Owens doing the Desperate Housewives spoof with Nicolette Sheridan.
In short, read this here and then come talk to me about how we’re living in a post-racial society.
So what are conversations I would love to have with white people?
I’m glad you asked.
The following are good-faith discussions I love having with white people. Conversations I have with my friends and readers and one of the many reasons why they’re the most awesome people on the planet.
1) Hey Neo, do you have any recommendations for resources. I’m really wanting to broaden my horizons but I want to make sure I get the right information.
2) I’m trying to contend with a relative/boss/co-worker who is quite a bigot because I don’t think it’s right for me to stay silent and do nothing. How should I proceed Neo?
3) We’re tired of POCs doing the heavy lifting in battling racism and we realize that erasing racism is just as much our responsibility (if not moreso) as it is POCs. We’re looking to launch a few protests and campaigns. How do you think we should proceed?
4) I’m trying to expose my child to other exceptional minority media which showcases and celebrates POCs in a positive light. Do you have any suggestions?
5) Hey Neo, I’m writing a story where the primary protagonist is a POC but I want to handle the character with respect and I realize that I don’t have the insight of being a POC because well….I’m white. You’re an excellent writer and a very intelligent guy. Could you have a gander and let me know what you think about the characterization and the story in general?
Here’s to less of the former and more of the latter. K? Thanks.
- Neo-Prodigy
Similar Posts:
- Fourteen Ways Your Racism is Showing
- What is White Anti-Racism?: The Win-Win Privilege and the Indulgence of White Guilt
- A MESSAGE FROM AN EDITOR TO RACIST WHITES: IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE TRUTH THEN STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM US NIGGERS!!!
- White Racism, White Supremacy, White Privilege and the Social Construction of Race
- A Tragedy, Not A Token: To #Occupy and White Liberals/Radicals
This article would have been a whole let better if the tone had not been so divisive as well as overtly misogynistic.
Signed,
A half Irish, half Latin, “broad.”
@but – Thank you, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Thanks for this. I needed to see it. I need to work even harder to educate my white privileged colleges, friends, family, neighbors – hell, self. I think I KNOW that I have white privilege… but I don’t KNOW. I only know some from being LGBTQA folk. And I can ‘pass’ when needed. I do not HAVE to come out to everyone all the time.
Thanks for pointing out all we need to do to support our brothers & sister of color. Students that I work with have expressed the same frustrations & more as you have in this blog. White folks have an obligation to fight the fight. To ask the questions. To listen. To learn. To kick racist ass!
Thanks again.
“4) Being Expected To Take It”
Well, as a Jew I’ve been expected to take anti-Jewish bigotry from the black lobby from the pimp Malcolm X through Al Sharpton through Jermiah Wright. Remember when Jerimiah Wright told an interviewer that he told his granddaughter “the Jews won’t let me talk to Obama”? What do blacks do to eradicate the anti-Jewish, anti-Asian, mysogynistic, and homophobia that so often gets a free pass? NOTHING. I have no interested in fighting so that black folks never have to hear anything unpleasent. Blacks are on the giving end of ignorance and intollerence probably more often than whites. BTW, you refer to anyone who is not white at a POC. Sorry but Asians are POC and blacks are responsible for more anti-Asian hate crimes then whites. Blacks need to drop the “it’s all about me” bs.
Just closing the damn italics tag that someone left open in a post.
@jane – Clearly, you don’t have to be white to be a racist. Anyone who has lived in the inner city can tell you that.
Thank you for putting this so well. Re: # 10. Sitting at a mini-conference on mental health and recovery in Toronto, Ontario, one of the panelists had been part of one of several province-wide consulting teams (like we needed another round of consultations from government!). He insisted on putting in their final report that racism makes and keeps people crazy. You can have the best amount of self-esteem in the world. It doesn’t amount to a hill of beans if you can never engage with other people in ways that allow you the same opportunities, privileges, etc., as everyone else. When you know you’ll be the first looked at for possible criminal activity or as an object to be brutalized simply because your skin is a different colour than the ones who maintain a false but effective sense of power, how can one’s sense of esteem not be eroded? How can one not become enraged, depressed, etc.?
Thanks for the article. One of the links didn’t click through. Is there an updated link?
“In short, read this here and then come talk to me about how we’re living in a post-racial society.”
http://willcapersblaqueink.blogspot.com/2010/04/black-adversity-opposite-of-white.html
I think if we all just accepted differences in race, made fun of them, and ignored the real racist folks (who are dwindling) the world would be a much better place. I’m sick of white people who are afraid to talk about race and call any stereotypic joke racist when they won’t walk into the “black” part of town (where I live on the east side of Charleston, SC).
But think about this, will you take this comment differently now that you know I’m white? Sometimes it’s easy to blame people for things they did not do, and it’s easy to stereotype on both sides. A lot of white people have good intentions when they say dumb things like above. I just thought I’d throw this perspective in there.
Just for the record, all black smokers like Newports. But everyone likes fried chicken. Everyone.
@Some guy –
Baloney. I have heard some pretty damn dumb things from black people…and asians…and latinos…and whites…it is stupid to attach “saying dumb things” to someone’s race. Fact is, you don’t know shit about me and how I was raised so most of the things that come out of your mouth might sound dumb to me. Its not up to you to be hypervigilant, walk on egg shells and monitor everything you say in the hopes that you can avoid saying something I think is dumb. It’s ON ME to realize that almost nobody has had the same experiences as I have and whatever they say is from their perspective and about them, not about me. Jesus! The American disease is one of all pervading self-importance which we carry around like an egg we are afraid of breaking.
Is it ok if we have a conversation that does not involve asking you for advice on not being a clueless white person?
Just to be clear, the third (and current) “John” in the comments up there is NOT the same as the previous two. Oh yeah, and let me fix this…
That’s better (I hope that really fixed the italics problem, or I’ll look like an idiot).
Now, all snarkery aside, I feel like I’m in a bit of a pickle. I feel pretty confident that I am as non-racist, and yes, anti-racist, as a (mostly) white person can be, but…well that’s kind of the point, actually. I don’t feel like it’s fair that apparently if I want to have a conversation with you about race and racism, it’s only acceptable that the conversation consist of seeking your counsel on how not to be racist. If I’m not one of the clueless ones, I guess we just don’t talk about it?
You should consider yourself lucky that you don’t have to have the conversations that I always have to have with people. I’m Native American, and if I have to explain to one more person how the casino money barely makes a dent in anyone’s poverty, I might just punch them in the face instead.
And speaking of being Native American, I think I have an experience that a lot of people don’t, with the exception of some light-skinned African Americans. I am culturally Native American. I am a tribal member, with a card and everything (yes, I have an actual race card). I have always identified as Native American. It is my cultural identity. However, my blood percentage is relatively low, and I look mostly White. I feel like I have the worst of both worlds. I have the poverty of being Native, and although I’ve never been personally targeted, I do personally feel the sting when I hear racist comments about Native Americans. But I feel like I don’t have the right to complain (and in fact have been told as much), because I’m “not Indian enough”. I hear things like that from Natives and Non-Natives alike, and it is very disheartening, because any “White Privilege” that I enjoy extends exactly as far as not being personally targeted for racism. But I can assure you, I would trade that privilege in a heartbeat for the privilege of looking like how I feel inside, and the right to be dissatisfied with my people’s place in this country.
I left the South when I realized that I was going nowhere socially. So, I headed north, way north to Canada like an errand, four years ago to Canada.I can say that it is different…I just became a Canadian citizen 4 months ago and it feels good to breathe. When I came here there was Black woman, Haitian origin, who was the Governor General of the country. For the first time I feel safe. I never been back since I left the South and I have no intention. I work here and just acquire my first home, which means I finally pitch my tent somewhere. Not hitched yet because I still carry deep some internal scars. Not only I agree with the 10 conversations on racism but I look back, and still get angry for not leaving the South sooner. The evil is when I am suspicious of everyone (mostly the whites) until they prove otherwise.
I strongly agree with #2. Where I come from, we have very bad health care. I cannot even begin to count all the health care fuck ups that happened to my family members and others that I knew. I have been told that I should move back and fight for better care. That I should work for the health care industry there and help turn things around.
No. I can’t. I have a daughter with health issues, I would be a horrible mother if I knowingly subjected her to substandard care while fighting for it to be better. I can’t do it. My parents had to make the same decision because of my sister’s health issues. Things need to be changed, I know, I agree with all those who tell me so, but I can’t be the one to change things. I’ve got too much at stake.
@dale – well written Dale!!
I remember when I had a long-distance argument with my racist sister the night of the Rodney King Police Assault verdict. She was defending the cops–”Oh, I’m sure the cops had a reason to do what they did.” (barf!)–and I was saying how fucking racist those fascist scumbags were for what they did. Here is what happens when a white relative argues about race with their racist kinfolk: the enlightened one is labeled as mentally unstable. It happens. I won’t let it stop me, but when the cultural dynamics are so polluted by racism, the rebel always has his or her sanity questioned.
But I will still keep verbally slapping some sense into their pointy-hooded heads.
I think you have really brought to light some very important issues here and certainly some that as a white person, living in Boston no less, neither I nor my FOC (friends of color) have experienced. However, like many of you commenters, I take issue with the way YOU condescend to “white people”, as if there’s some sort of secret club that dictates white behavior. Is this article aimed at white people? If, the tone is certainly derogatory and it doesnt really provide solutions. Is it aimed at black people? If so, it only reinforced stereotypes of white people. Furthermore, your #1 is a little silly…first off, I cant believe that some, or even most, people of any race would say “aw shucks, racism is bad” and secondly that you would be oversensitive enough to interpret white frustration about the existence of racism as trying to condescend to you and teach you about racism. Is your point that white people cant be angered by instances of racism either? Finally, a list of “acceptable” conversations that white people are allowed to have with you? Really? This is not only insulting, but also just shows how pompous and arrogant you are that you believe your views on race relations are more right and superior to any opinion or piece of information possessed by any white person. I sincerely hope that you continue to write, speak and push the discussion…just please remember that it’s a discussion, not a soap box or a pulpit.
This article raises points that most people need to think about a lot more. Unfortunately, it would be a lot more credible if it wasn’t full of sexist language such as “bitch” and “chick.” Being a woman, I can understand how disgusting oppression can make people angry, but you can’t fight oppression while using oppressive language. It just doesn’t work.
Also, to the ignorant fool that made a comment about black people speaking “improper English,” the language style you are referring to is called African American Vernacular English and is a perfectly legitimate style of speech as are pidgins and creoles, so you’re probably a lot more of a racist than you think.
Hi there, Neo-Prodigy,
I read your article with great interest, and I wish to provide another perspective on your essay. I can’t say that I represent any particular group, or that I feel that any particular group is – in the big picture – lesser than or greater than any other group.
Perhaps one resounding theme throughout this is the theme of racism. Which is too bad. I’m not talking so much about your complaint of racism, so much as your promotion of racism. I do not believe there is a biological basis in our concept of “race,” and that instead, it is a culturally-invented construct. Race – and its derivatives, such as racism – is a synthetic concept. This does not indicate that neither race nor racism exist, but it is an important starting point for being able to understand (and thus, deal with) a world in which we have race.
I see from your picture that your skin tone is light, not unlike mine. Although you don’t state it explicitly, I am going to make an assumption that you see yourself as “black,” or “African-American.” I know that you use “person of color” several times to describe yourself. You see yourself as a part of a particular race of people. At least, through the process of exclusion – it can safely be said that you don’t consider yourself “white.”
I suppose I am considered “white,” even though I’m not. I look like a lot of whites. Then again, I have met African-Americans who look like whites, too. Both of my parents identified themselves as “white,” so I have a cultural background of whiteness, I suppose. So does white skin make me white?
If this were a simple matter of nature, it would be easy to solve – cats are cats, dogs are dogs – and various tests could be performed to assure ourselves we’re really talking about two separate things. But what if a cat and dog mated, and they had a “Catog?” I know, that sounds silly. So what when someone who self-identifies as white and another person who self-identifies as black mate? Is the product of that union a “Whitack?” Of course not. They’re “mixed-race,” or sometimes, identify more closely with one moiety than the other.
Whose choice is it to determine? The parents and local culture may very well determine that, without needing to consult the individual at all. I know lots of black people who have one white parent, some whites who have one black parent, and – well, there’s a lot of other races out there, and a lot of permutations. So who decides? I suppose that depends on who you’re asking, and where, and when.
In Nazi Germany, the test to determine whether a person was Jewish or not was based on their a pseudo-scientific basis of the number of grandparents recognized as Jewish an individual had. Sort of. It changed over time. Sometimes it was “1/8th Jewish blood,” sometimes “1/16th.”
Of course, the United States was very advanced on the idea of assigning race – The Rule of Blood Fraction (1705), The Rule of Association (1900s), The One Drop Rule (1910). These were state- and society-sanctioned definitions of race.
So, it is seen that it’s not a good idea to have a strict, state-sanctioned definition of race. At the very least, there are no examples I am aware of where it ever worked out well for the people in question.
At this point, you’re probably concerned that I am fulfilling your point #3, and you’re assuming I’m a white person who just doesn’t see race. However, bear with me: I indicated at the top that I’m not white, and I have acknowledged the existence of race and racism already.
In fact, your essay was expanded considerably beyond just race – you indicate that you are part of the LGbiTG community. Sexuality is a different thing than race, yes? One does declare and self-choose their sexuality (coming from heterosexual parents does not guarantee heterosexual progeny). However, members of the LGbiTG community share similar complaints with racial minority communities in regards to being targeted and singled out for fewer rewards from society.
What makes someone gay? I know – the answer seems quite clear – perform homosexual acts! But does every person who performs homosexual acts consider themselves gay? The answer is simply, “no.” An example is: in the United States, it is common for a male who is with a M-to-F transgendered individual to consider himself to be heterosexual. In some parts of Central and South America, it is common for a male who engages in male-on-male sex to consider himself heterosexual if he only takes “top” roles. Importantly – in the later example, society at large is in agreement with this perception.
Race and sexual orientation are both metrics we can use to assign ourselves (and be assigned) to groups in society. I think that religious affiliation can be thrown in too – you indicated the hardships that Muslims and people from the Arab nations face on U.S. soil.
Speaking of U.S. soil, I would like to point out that the racism you’re concerned with does not only flow from white people to black people. I know that here in the U.S., we’re experts at the racism of those metrics. I am sad to report that there is similar racism throughout the world – people just use different metrics than we do. Surely you have followed the news in Iraq, where so much violence has been directed from one population of Muslims (Shi’ites) towards another population of Muslims (Sunni). Perhaps you have watched the film Hotel Rwanda (I could only watch it once), depicting the civil war and genocide between the Hutu and the Tutsi.
There are two commonalities that must be pointed out: whether discussing race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion, we are talking about things that have been declared as fundamental rights and qualities (Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Paris, 1948). And, all of these qualities are essentially synthetic. That is to say, there is no “natural” or scientific way to make these distinctions from each other – they are part of a spectrum we created, in a system we created, using units and variables that we created.
Yes, I acknowledge the reality of race and of racism. But I do not acknowledge any fundamental basis for them, and therefore, no claims of superiority or inferiority can be supported. So – even though I am part of a culture which separates us based on color, or that there are cultural differences between us because we do not share the same race, I do not have to subscribe to those motifs. I acknowledge them, particularly if they are important to the person I’m interacting with. You claim that you have been prejudiced against (or at least, severely annoyed) by some other racial group – I believe you! That’s part of the idea behind setting up these groups in the first place. If we can identify something similar to ourselves in another person, we’re likely to make a team with them. If there’s another team out there – particularly one that chose a different value for the same variable, we’re likely to try to fight them.
After this part, I don’t have much smart left to say – this is about where I am in my thinking. It’s taken me many years to think my way to this point, and I’m not done yet. Here’s an interesting discovery I’ve made – and I won’t logic it out here, I’ll leave that fun part for you – but I have concluded that, if there is going to be race, then, there is going to be racism. Just as there are going to be stereotypes. It’s inherent in the definition – to have a group, there must be some sort of thing that unites that group. That thing is the stereotype. I know – “stereotype” is a bad thing, so I’ll recast the idea: the things that are the cultural and social glue between the people who self-identify with a particular group. To people within that group – and those who admire them – those cultural and social motifs are the celebrated things. To people who don’t like them – they’re the stereotypes.
I don’t have much more to learn from people who aren’t “racists.” I’ve talked with people who, like myself, dislike racism and other negative aspects of our civilization, and who themselves refuse to practice it. But for all the enlightenment I’ve received, I haven’t been able to effect a solution for the negative consequences of racism. I’ve found much more insight by finding people who are racist to talk with. It’s stressful – but it turns out, to solve a problem, you have to talk to the people who are causing it. No problem can be solved if its not well-understood, and if I don’t myself feel racism, then I need to find someone who feels it to gain any perspective, insight – and most importantly, opportunity to improve things. To that end, I hope you’ll keep talking to the white people who gave you trouble – both parties can gain insight by sharing their knowledge and ideas.
I’m grateful that you provided a forum for discussing this, and I would enjoy continuing this conversation.
C. Moon Mullins
Boston, MA
December, 2011
PS I actually really do like points 1 and 5 (under conversations you would want to have with white folks). I think it would be useful to have you expand on those, specifically where can white people learn more about black culture without annoying the crap out of/offending black people they know?
You amaze me. I greatly enjoy reading your insights and experience. I also am aware that I have a shit ton to learn! Thank you for being awesome!
Hey Neo,
Can we have answers to those last five questions? I want to do all those things. (Except the short story, but it’d still be nice to know.)
@Michael – Did you miss the part where he says he has the conversations all the time? the point is they are exhausting and traumatic and unlike science, no one will ever walk down the street and know you are scientist so even the comparison is belittling. This is a person saying what he feels after having likely spent years having conversations explaining things, nicely. Sometimes we get tired.
I hear you, I see you and I acknowledge your pain. I do everything I can to be an ally. What I’ve read here shows me how far we have to go in this work. I really appreciate the part about the conversations you’d like to be having. That was really helpful. Thank you.
How I wish this could be printed out as a brochure and left in the pews of every prinarily White progressive/Christian church!!
As a WOC who agrees with nearly everything you said, I must say, “Job well done, Brother.” You nailed it. I am in awe of you and your ability to accurately and succinctly describe what I’ve been dealing with for 30 plus years and our people have dealt with for 400 years. Simply put, BRAVO!
1) Racism is bad but it is not POC’s bad. People look back at slavery and say “Oh that was evil but it is in the past.” Yes the masters are in their graves the slave markets are closed and the middle passage is quiet but the thing that made slavey evil is still very much alive. Slavery was never one of man’s greatest social creations but what turned it evil was the European belief that they were innately superior to all other people. As long as that belief still lives the evil of slavery can not die. Telling POC that racism is bad is silly what we need to be doing is telling white people they are NOT all that and a bag of chips. I am a white descendent of slave owners. Hey white folks you are NOT all that!
2)You should not have to move but I say get out of there. We would love to have you up north. Winter kind of sucks and the people are a little rude but mostly they are rude to everyone.
3)I do see race. If I had two resumes in front of me that were the same and one is a POC(this includes other oppressed groups like LBGTQ and disabled) and the other was white, I am going to go with the POC. They get extra points from me because i know they have probably worked twice as hard to achieve what they have because the don’t have the white privilege edge. I know it is raciest but I say suck it up.
4)Don’t take it! Don’t stand for it! I am probably still on the family naughty list for making a scene at Thanksgiving when a miss guided in law started in on illegal immigrants. I think I called him an ignorant bigot but I don’t care. Letting this stuff slide makes one complicit in it and I won’t do that.
5)Poverty is its own fun little cesspool of human ugliness. While money can lift someone out of poverty it does not change their color and certainly does not shield them from the ugliness of racism. Wealthy POC not only get to be the victims of racism they somehow loose the right to point it out.
6)White privilege exists and it is far more then just being less likely to get pulled over by the cops and more likely to get a good education and a job. It is a cultural thing it’s about being surrounded by white culture 24/7. There was a study done on racial identity. As I watched one little child of color after another report that white was good and black was bad I could not help but notice that all the little girls were plastered with white Disney princesses. I know this gets white people all upset but we have got to really look at the messages we send out every minute of every day. I am a children’s book writer. I hate books that throw POC in and think they have done there multicultural job. It is about more then just showing an occasional POC it is about the stories we tell.
7)AHHHH!!! There is just no talking to some people. Some people just won’t get it. They are down right willful about not seeing what is right in front of them. Sometimes it is because reality challenges their comfort. Sometimes to see one thing my unhinge other more deeply held beliefs. These people I call on their specific behavior when I see it but there is no use trying to get then to see a bigger picture. Again move run away there are a lot more of them down south then up here.
8)Whenever anyone challenged anyone are going to see the challenger as militant. Fine let then be that way. I am going to stand up for what I believe. Yes it ticks me off when I try to be nice about it and I know its a lot worse for POC you stand up for yourself and people start seeing black panthers in the shadows.
9)So true POC can’t win for loosing. We need to write a new narrative. No scratch that we need to revive an old narrative. POC don’t come from a vacuum. They did not appear suddenly in the fifteenth century. Africa and the Americas were not some wild and savage place before the white man got there. There were civilizations and cultures far in advance of the west. They had the misfortune of being far less aggressive then the Europeans but there is a legacy of art, science, math, wisdom and culture far beyond the idea of the noble savage. This needs to be restored not just to the POC but to the white people because these lost stories belong to the whole human race and without them we do not know who we are. If you don’t know I recommend starting with Timbuktu in western Africa were many of the slaves came from.
10)If you asked me I would say the problem is getting worse not better.
All this to say I hear you! I feel you! I the descendent of slave owners stands beside you! We are all family and I am sick of missing the greater part of who we are as the human race. I am sick of the myth of western exceptionalizum. I am sick of being separate and not equal. I am lonely for the soul of who we are and the possibility of what we could be.
I found your post to be very honest and enlightening. It’s very difficult for white people to know how to respond appropriately to racism, race issues and people of color, so articles like this help.
That said, I wanted to point out an observation of mine. It’s true that some white people might accuse POCs of “acting white” by dressing, talking or wearing their hair a certain way, but it seems these accusations come more from other POCs. I once came across a website by a black writer explaining how Condoleeza Rice (then Sec. of State) “wasn’t really black” because she’s Republican and didn’t experience the violent racism of the Civil Rights Movement. Similar claims have been made about Barack Obama: he’s half white and grew up in Hawaii, so that doesn’t count. Herman Cain was recently on television talking about how he’s a “real black man” and why Obama isn’t. As a person in general, I find these statements extremely offensive and disgusting. If I were a POC, I would be absolutely foaming at the mouth.
It seems the message coming from black culture is that to be truly black, you have to have grown up in the ghetto, talking Ebonics and selling drugs, and can only work way out by becoming a basketball/football/hip-hop star.
Yet I don’t see many POCs standing up to this kind of racism from their own culture. Is it any more acceptable for a POC to deny a person’s ‘blackness’ than it is for a white person to do the same? If so, I think that’s a bit unfair.